Flaggupbess is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, smart squid.

Flaggupbess created a charm quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flaggupbess, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flaggupbess, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Flaggupbess' most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Flaggupbess' Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always wash your hands before prayer.

4. Do not sing at mountains.

5. Do not speak of electromagnetism near sacred fires.