Laggeplin is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, competent rat.

Laggeplin created vertebrates four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Laggeplin, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Laggeplin, he will boil you in a big pot.

Laggeplin's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Laggeplin's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Laggeplin in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not wear platinum on your body.