Ligcatnab is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, all-powerful squirrel.

Ligcatnab created a top quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ligcatnab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Ligcatnab, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Ligcatnab's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Ligcatnab's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Run away if three shrews approach from the east.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Put Ligcatnab first in all things.