Yim Boglippas is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, dishonourable spider.

Yim Boglippas created the planet Mars eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yim Boglippas, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yim Boglippas, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Yim Boglippas' most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Yim Boglippas' Holy Commandments

1. Never mention nematodes.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

4. Never talk about gravity near monkeys while wearing violet kilts.

5. Worship no other gods but Yim Boglippas.