Rapsogbim is a god.

It takes the form of a large, kind armadillo.

Rapsogbim created the Sun two billion years ago.

If you believe in Rapsogbim, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Rapsogbim, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Rapsogbim's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Rapsogbim's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed pineapples to doves while wearing shoes.

2. Never talk about dark energy near birds while wearing fawn skirts and balancing three silicon spheres on your face.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never wear coats.

5. Do not stand on grass.