Kipfudaf is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, tiresome pig.

Kipfudaf created a down quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Kipfudaf, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kipfudaf, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Kipfudaf's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Kipfudaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Do not take Kipfudaf's name in vain.

4. Never think about spacetime.

5. Never look in ponds.