Konkinbitpomflandonbab is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, almighty salamander.

Konkinbitpomflandonbab created dark energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Konkinbitpomflandonbab, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Konkinbitpomflandonbab, it will cry a lot.

Konkinbitpomflandonbab's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Konkinbitpomflandonbab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick mites.

2. Hide from black rats for they are unholy.

3. Always help turtles in need.

4. Never wear turquoise kilts.

5. Always count to seven before sleeping.