Quartlabhudjig is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, able fairy.

Quartlabhudjig created the planet Saturn eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quartlabhudjig, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quartlabhudjig, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Quartlabhudjig's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Quartlabhudjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never talk about fire.