Onthunartmisfem is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, merciless snake.

Onthunartmisfem created a bottom quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Onthunartmisfem, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Onthunartmisfem, it will ignore you.

Onthunartmisfem's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Onthunartmisfem's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat seals with great respect.

2. Feed all hungry shrews.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

4. Always help snails.

5. Never talk about chlorophyll.