Gubsinnill is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, benevolent scorpion.

Gubsinnill created dark energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gubsinnill, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gubsinnill, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Gubsinnill's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Gubsinnill's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Gubsinnill.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Gubsinnill.

4. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

5. Hide if four goats approach from the north.