Dogsakpin is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, effective aardvark.

Dogsakpin created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dogsakpin, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dogsakpin, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dogsakpin's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Dogsakpin's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never feed parsnips to bats while wearing skirts.