Vidfedmet is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, narcissistic pigeon.

Vidfedmet created snails eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vidfedmet, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vidfedmet, it will not care.

Vidfedmet's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Vidfedmet's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Vidfedmet on top of all buildings.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never talk about nucleic acids.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near sharks while wearing indigo stockings.

5. Always treat foxes with great respect.