Kombanvag is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, unsympathetic shark.

Kombanvag created tapeworms seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kombanvag, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kombanvag, she will turn you into a puffin.

Kombanvag's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Kombanvag's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

3. You must pray to Kombanvag six times a day.

4. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Kombanvag in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.