Zakgidaf is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, tranquil hippopotamus.

Zakgidaf created a top quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakgidaf, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Zakgidaf, he will cry a lot.

Zakgidaf's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Zakgidaf's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never feed lots of aubergines to bats while wearing brown boots.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never wear turquoise shoes.

5. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.