Japyattyim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, temperamental unicorn.

Japyattyim created an atom six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Japyattyim, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Japyattyim, she will turn you into a puffin.

Japyattyim's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Japyattyim's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat gooseberries.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always look after injured sheep.

5. Fast once a month.