Pitzanpin is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, charitable gerbil.

Pitzanpin created light three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pitzanpin, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Pitzanpin, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pitzanpin's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Pitzanpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from ash.

2. Never prepare wheat during autumn.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

5. You must pray to Pitzanpin eight times a day.