Zimfomcen is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, deceitful parrot.

Zimfomcen created a quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Zimfomcen, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zimfomcen, he will be mildly annoyed.

Zimfomcen's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Zimfomcen's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zimfomcen.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Never write about black holes.