Fabcedfobcit is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, clever mole.

Fabcedfobcit created humankind seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fabcedfobcit, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fabcedfobcit, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Fabcedfobcit's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Fabcedfobcit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt geese.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never wear white hats.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.