Zimfodnib is a god.

He takes the form of a large, impressive walrus.

Zimfodnib created time and space four years ago.

If you believe in Zimfodnib, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zimfodnib, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Zimfodnib's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Zimfodnib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Run away from blue pigs, for they are unholy.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Erect four titanium sculptures of Zimfodnib on top of important buildings.

5. Hide if five tapirs approach from the south.