Ripcutstaf is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, happy wyvern.

Ripcutstaf created dark energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ripcutstaf, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ripcutstaf, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Ripcutstaf's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Ripcutstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always store peanuts above ground.

2. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

3. Never chant in spring.

4. Never gather four birds in one place.

5. Always act with humility.