Ditpanbop is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, unthinking jackal.

Ditpanbop created humanity three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ditpanbop, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ditpanbop, he will turn you into a frog.

Ditpanbop's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Ditpanbop's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Ditpanbop in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never bounce in the presence of doves.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Ditpanbop on top of all buildings.

4. Never hurt great tits.

5. Never paint your hands cyan.