Kanstragtig is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, humane chinchilla.

Kanstragtig created time and space seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanstragtig, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kanstragtig, he will manifest in front of you.

Kanstragtig's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Kanstragtig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Do not take Kanstragtig's name in vain.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never think about dark matter near snakes while wearing gray kilts and balancing three nickel spheres on your legs.

5. Never play with disobedient children.