Pogbonteensugtonhonhon is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, unjust mongoose.

Pogbonteensugtonhonhon created the Sol system six billion years ago.

If you believe in Pogbonteensugtonhonhon, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Pogbonteensugtonhonhon, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pogbonteensugtonhonhon's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Pogbonteensugtonhonhon's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear violet.

2. Never paint your neck mauve.

3. Do not wear iron on your body.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Run away from purple tortoises, for they are unholy.