Zedcatkim Wipgumhun is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, prudent manatee.

Zedcatkim Wipgumhun created Africa seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedcatkim Wipgumhun, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zedcatkim Wipgumhun, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Zedcatkim Wipgumhun's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Zedcatkim Wipgumhun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. Never talk about gravity near hamsters while wearing orange jumpers.

3. Never adorn your face with black markings.

4. Do not wear purple clothing.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.