Kanminmip is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, bad-tempered dog.

Kanminmip created an up quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kanminmip, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kanminmip, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Kanminmip's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Kanminmip's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of seals.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Erect a giant red sculpture of Kanminmip in the centre of the settlement.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not shave your face.