Dussjammifsispitfon is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-powerful crab.

Dussjammifsispitfon created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dussjammifsispitfon, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dussjammifsispitfon, he will make you grow a tail.

Dussjammifsispitfon's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Dussjammifsispitfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

2. Never go into red rooms.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Always make sure there are no horses in a room before entering it.

5. Never pour water over plants.