Figfossgon is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, idiotic hare.

Figfossgon created everything that exists nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Figfossgon, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Figfossgon, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Figfossgon's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Figfossgon's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into yellow rooms.

2. Do not speak about figs.

3. Never paint your head green.

4. Never chant in autumn.

5. Never pray while filled with joy.