Safyakomin is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, benevolent walrus.

Safyakomin created gold seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Safyakomin, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Safyakomin, he will refuse to believe in you.

Safyakomin's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Safyakomin's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain purity during days of mourning.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never gather eight turtles in one place.

4. Do not speak of quantum field theory near sacred fires.

5. Never handle silver while unclean.