Hapdossjab is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, dishonest jaguar.

Hapdossjab created a strange quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Hapdossjab, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Hapdossjab, she will turn you into a dog.

Hapdossjab's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Hapdossjab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Never hurt dolphins.

5. Respect your elders.