Gubdaggut is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, selfish wren.

Gubdaggut created the planet Mars nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubdaggut, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gubdaggut, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Gubdaggut's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Gubdaggut's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near otters while wearing pink jumpers and balancing eight gold spheres on your neck.

4. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

5. Feed all hungry sharks.