Natdibwan Nellhapdud Quimfonbem is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, passionate raccoon.

Natdibwan Nellhapdud Quimfonbem created the Sol system five billion years ago.

If you believe in Natdibwan Nellhapdud Quimfonbem, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Natdibwan Nellhapdud Quimfonbem, she will strike you with lightening.

Natdibwan Nellhapdud Quimfonbem's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Natdibwan Nellhapdud Quimfonbem's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Natdibwan Nellhapdud Quimfonbem's priests.

2. Retreat if eight sharks approach from the south.

3. Always wear green.

4. Put Natdibwan Nellhapdud Quimfonbem first in all things.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near porpoises while wearing red scarves and balancing five lead spheres on your arms.