Febvogvon is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, intelligent ferret.

Febvogvon created tapeworms nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Febvogvon, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Febvogvon, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Febvogvon's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Febvogvon's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Never think about special relativity near manatees while wearing red boots and balancing nine lead spheres on your head.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.