Kopabsig is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, blissful dog.

Kopabsig created the Tadpole Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopabsig, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kopabsig, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kopabsig's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Kopabsig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Run away if seven monkeys approach from the west.