Larnxucklim is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, ill-tempered shark.

Larnxucklim created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnxucklim, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Larnxucklim, she will ignore you.

Larnxucklim's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Larnxucklim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always help sick nematodes.

4. Never laugh near tapirs.

5. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Larnxucklim in the centre of the settlement.