Vilweehakdudjabrut is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, charitable duck.

Vilweehakdudjabrut created carbon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vilweehakdudjabrut, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vilweehakdudjabrut, he will turn you into a hamster.

Vilweehakdudjabrut's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Vilweehakdudjabrut's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of fate in the presence of strangers.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never think ill of sick sheep.

4. Never talk about horses.

5. Do not speak of dark energy near sacred fires.