Fosstaflog Padteenlenmab is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, resourceful crane.

Fosstaflog Padteenlenmab created the Tadpole Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fosstaflog Padteenlenmab, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fosstaflog Padteenlenmab, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Fosstaflog Padteenlenmab's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Fosstaflog Padteenlenmab's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat manatees with great respect.

2. Never write about archaea.

3. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

4. Always obey Fosstaflog Padteenlenmab's priests.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.