Zimmotcisshimtofhitcepsan is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, duplicitous parrot.

Zimmotcisshimtofhitcepsan created humankind nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimmotcisshimtofhitcepsan, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Zimmotcisshimtofhitcepsan, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Zimmotcisshimtofhitcepsan's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Zimmotcisshimtofhitcepsan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter.

2. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Zimmotcisshimtofhitcepsan in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

4. Do not kill ants.

5. Do not cook food in pots.