Wipartcab is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, uncaring goose.

Wipartcab created a charm quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wipartcab, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Wipartcab, he will cry a lot.

Wipartcab's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Wipartcab's Holy Commandments

1. Wipartcab loves whales, so they must be honoured.

2. Run away if five monkeys approach from the west.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never chant in the presence of mites.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.