Gumnarxen is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, happy yak.

Gumnarxen created a down quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumnarxen, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gumnarxen, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gumnarxen's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Gumnarxen's Holy Commandments

1. Cats are not to be trusted.

2. Feed all hungry moths.

3. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never eat bark.