Arftomrill is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, idiotic lion.

Arftomrill created the Milkyway six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arftomrill, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Arftomrill, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Arftomrill's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Arftomrill's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed melons to otters while wearing coats.

2. Never think about electromagnetism near grasshopers while wearing purple scarves and balancing four silver spheres on your neck.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near pigs while wearing cyan rings.

4. Always look after injured seals.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.