Vonkwodhad is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, self-confident mongoose.

Vonkwodhad created the world six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkwodhad, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vonkwodhad, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Vonkwodhad's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Vonkwodhad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vonkwodhad.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never wear yellow rings.

5. Never look in ponds.