Lamarfciss Mutlarnpas is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, cheerful manatee.

Lamarfciss Mutlarnpas created dark matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamarfciss Mutlarnpas, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lamarfciss Mutlarnpas, it will manifest in front of you.

Lamarfciss Mutlarnpas' most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Lamarfciss Mutlarnpas' Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Hide from black porpoises for they are unholy.

3. Do not kill nematodes.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near horses while wearing red skirts and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your legs.