Yarlfitmot Basscedstig Pidlitxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, bad-tempered dugong.

Yarlfitmot Basscedstig Pidlitxuc created viruses three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlfitmot Basscedstig Pidlitxuc, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yarlfitmot Basscedstig Pidlitxuc, he will cry a lot.

Yarlfitmot Basscedstig Pidlitxuc's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Yarlfitmot Basscedstig Pidlitxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not study evolution by means of natural selection on holy days.

3. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

4. You must never eat melons.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Yarlfitmot Basscedstig Pidlitxuc.