Hitart Kengutnartortdudtig is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, blissful goblin.

Hitart Kengutnartortdudtig created the planet Saturn seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hitart Kengutnartortdudtig, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hitart Kengutnartortdudtig, he will cry a lot.

Hitart Kengutnartortdudtig's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Hitart Kengutnartortdudtig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near squirrels while wearing fawn boots.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.

4. Do not keep nine ants in a large pit.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.