Quam Jadtangupbad is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, calm guinea pig.

Quam Jadtangupbad created the planet Earth four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quam Jadtangupbad, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Quam Jadtangupbad, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Quam Jadtangupbad's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Quam Jadtangupbad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never feed garlic to pigs while wearing gray coats.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Fast once a month.