Dabcubfen is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, dishonourable seal.

Dabcubfen created the planet Earth eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dabcubfen, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dabcubfen, she will be very sad.

Dabcubfen's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Dabcubfen's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your back before prayer.

2. You must never eat nuts.

3. Hide if eight dolphins approach from the east.

4. Run away if six mice approach from the west.

5. Always take life seriously.