Yarlviddun is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, confident dugong.

Yarlviddun created the planet Earth six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlviddun, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yarlviddun, she will turn you into a frog.

Yarlviddun's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Yarlviddun's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never hurt rats.

4. Always make sure there are no mites in a building before entering it.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yarlviddun.