Hakmut is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, compassionate mole.

Hakmut created the Milkyway two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hakmut, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hakmut, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Hakmut's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Hakmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear brown shirts.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near cats while wearing cyan boots and balancing eight tin spheres on your face.

4. Do not speak about beans.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.