Gompaklarpdan is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, intelligent crow.

Gompaklarpdan created a photon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gompaklarpdan, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gompaklarpdan, she will turn you into a worm.

Gompaklarpdan's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Gompaklarpdan's Holy Commandments

1. Put Gompaklarpdan first in all things.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Always treat bats with great respect.