Tigcandag is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, conceited mink.

Tigcandag created time and space three million years ago.

If you believe in Tigcandag, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tigcandag, she will turn you into a goat.

Tigcandag's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Tigcandag's Holy Commandments

1. Tigcandag loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

2. Erect a large copper sculpture of Tigcandag on top of all buildings.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not gather at bridges at dusk.

5. Never approach forests carrying stone.