Quartflapnutt Sterwipnell is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, staggering squirrel.

Quartflapnutt Sterwipnell created Europe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartflapnutt Sterwipnell, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Quartflapnutt Sterwipnell, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Quartflapnutt Sterwipnell's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Quartflapnutt Sterwipnell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not leap in public.

2. Never hurt dolphins.

3. Never write about planets.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never play with disobedient children.