Stansagbest is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, effective seal.

Stansagbest created dark energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Stansagbest, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Stansagbest, she will destroy your home solar system.

Stansagbest's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Stansagbest's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tin on your body.

2. Never bounce in the presence of elders.

3. Always count to seven before sleeping.

4. Stansagbest loves foxes, so they must be respected.

5. Never cross mountains at midday.