Bedcabgetran is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, almighty gorilla.

Bedcabgetran created the Black Eye Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Bedcabgetran, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bedcabgetran, she will not care.

Bedcabgetran's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Bedcabgetran's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven nickel sculptures of Bedcabgetran on top of important buildings.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not drink water in red rooms.

5. Do not drink alcohol.