Nigpanbed is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, thoughtless deer.

Nigpanbed created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Nigpanbed, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nigpanbed, it will try to impress you with trees.

Nigpanbed's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Nigpanbed's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never think about cell theory.