Narvaddanmat is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, conceited fly.

Narvaddanmat created a strange quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narvaddanmat, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Narvaddanmat, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Narvaddanmat's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Narvaddanmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chlorophyll.

2. Never prepare bread during autumn.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Do not prepare beans while wearing scarves.

5. Never approach rivers carrying stone.