Milspaghub is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, selfish elephant.

Milspaghub created a down quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Milspaghub, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Milspaghub, she will ignore you.

Milspaghub's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Milspaghub's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always obey Milspaghub's priests.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.